A Little Soul Searching

Look And See, Acrylic on canvas, 24"x30"

I’ll admit it. I’m a self-help book junkie. Actually, I’m a book junkie. I love to browse and collect books that I don’t actually read but plan on reading “some day”. But, I digress. I have read so many self-help books that I could recite what most of them will tell you to do to heal yourself.

This got me thinking about why I fall into that same trap of trying to absorb some knowledge that will make me the perfect person that I always knew I could be. (I’m paraphrasing here.) It’s like those books that are making the authors rich by selling books that tell you how to get rich.

What exactly is holding me back from that life of success and comfort and happiness? What is it exactly that I hope to gain from all this free advice that I’ve paid for? Why am I so obsessed with these books and YouTube lectures and TED talks?

Why am I so convinced that there’s something wrong with me that needs to be fixed? Could it be that I need to fill some emptiness brought on by my alcoholic, absent father? Was it the “oh well, at least she’s mediocre” attitude of my mother? Do I really think that the answers will magically appear in the next best seller?

The truth is, I already know the answers. The trick is to learn how to actually incorporate them into my life. The solution is to quiet the ego and love and trust your TRUE self. That's pretty much it. The most simple and difficult of answers.

My advice? Stop listening to that voice inside your head. Lean in with your heart. Do something creative. Get out in nature. Make art. It feeds the soul and quiets the mind. Not to mention all the money you’ll save on those books.